When I grow up

Adults tend to ask children, “what do you want to be when you grow up?” Some are serious with their replies, like my daughters have had the same answer for 2 or 3 years. One wants to be a builder/architect and the other wants to be a teacher. Both career choices are accurate with their personalities, so it will be interesting to see if they stick with their plans. We always joke with the builder that she will have to build us a house in Italy and the teacher usually replies with, “I will help too! I can decorate the house!”

The other day, I was talking to the 5 year old boy that I babysit about “when he grows up” and he had a few silly answers first, “I want to be a dinosaur! I want to be a tree limb!”… but then he looked at me seriously and said, “I really want to be a Paleontologist just like my brother”. Wow! That is a big word for a little guy. I remember my 9 year old saying something along those lines… (READ: The walking pal)

Anyway… I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. How can a 35 year old wife and mother of two not know? My Bachelors degree is in Music. It’s not like I can just run off to La Scala and perform… and I don’t WANT to. So, I am stuck being a babysitter and substitute teacher until I can get a Masters in something meaningful. Problem is, I’m scared. I’m scared that I will work my rear off and then fail. I’m scared that I won’t have enough time for both school and my household. I’m scared that I’ll pick the wrong path – again. I would love to be a Teacher’s Assistant in the meantime. Only problem is, our county public schools job website only accepts applications for external openings to create a pool of candidates. I’m one in 23432i4u23u4y23y4 (did I put letters in there? yeah, it is THAT many candidates). If you are already in the public schools system as a current employee, then you can directly apply to an actual job. I don’t understand. Unless you are already an employee, you can’t really apply. Doesn’t seem right. I feel like I am in a constant circle of applying for a non-existing positions, just for them to discard it after a few months and then I have to re-enter my information that no one is going to view. So, here we are back again to getting a Masters in Arts for Teaching… or a Masters in Business Administration. What to do?

hm, I wonder if there is an opening for THIS job???

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About halfmyheart

I am a wife and mother to two wonderful children. View all posts by halfmyheart

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